My Body Has Been Possessed By Someone Scan Vf
Okay, seriously, you are not going to believe this. You know how I've been acting a little… off lately? Like, forgetting where I put my keys (again!), suddenly craving escargots (blegh!), and bursting into spontaneous renditions of Edith Piaf (Non, je ne regrette rien! – and I totally regret it!)?
Well, buckle up, buttercup, because I think… I think I've been possessed. Possessed! I know, I know, it sounds like something out of a bad B-movie. But hear me out.
It all started after I scanned this weird QR code someone stuck on a Metro seat. Just said "Scan Vf." Curiosity got the better of me, right? Big mistake. HUGE.
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At first, nothing seemed to happen. But then, the cravings started. The French cravings. Before you knew it, I had a baguette surgically attached to my hand. Who am I even anymore?!
And the attitude! Oh là là! Suddenly, I'm rolling my eyes at everything, complaining about the "American" coffee (sorry, Starbucks!), and judging everyone's fashion choices. I even started wearing a beret. A BERET! I haven't worn a beret since that disastrous attempt to look "arty" in college. Shudders.
Is it a ghost? A mischievous spirit? Maybe it’s just the ghost of Julia Child, desperate for me to perfect her boeuf bourguignon. Though, if that's the case, she needs to chill on the sass. I am trying, Julia, I am TRYING!
My friend suggested an exorcism. Seriously! She even offered to find a priest who speaks fluent French, just in case the possessing entity only understands Molière. I told her maybe we should try a nice, strong espresso first. You know, for… diagnostic purposes.
The weirdest part? I'm starting to enjoy some of it. The wine, the cheese, the slightly superior feeling of knowing the difference between a croissant au beurre and a croissant ordinaire. (Don't even get me started on pain au chocolat!). But still… I want my body back!
So, here's the deal. Has anyone else scanned a QR code that said "Scan Vf"? Or, better yet, does anyone know how to perform an exorcism using only a baguette, a bottle of Beaujolais, and a really strong rendition of "La Vie en Rose"? Seriously, asking for a friend… who is also me… possessed.
Stay tuned. This could get interesting… or really, really cheesy.
